Twitter Pitch Contest

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Twitter Pitch Contest

Shelley Watters is sponsoring a Twitter pitch contest.  Particiapants are required to post a one sentence, 140 character or less pitch.

Easy peasy, right?

Yeah… okay…

So why put myself through the agony? (Other than the fact it’s really good to have a one sentence pitch?)  The winner gets a FULL REQUEST from Suzie Townsend of Fine Print Literary.

Title: TORN

Genre: YA Science Fiction

Word count: 84,ooo

One sentence pitch: UPDATED PITCH BELOW

Guilt ridden Julia falls for boy who says her friend’s alive- in a universe where 2 boys who loved Julia’s alt self help J run for her life

One character to spare!

So, what do you think? I have until Monday to perfect it. Suggestions and comments greatly appreciated!

UPDATED PITCH

Julia lives with the guilt of killing her best friend, until she falls for a boy who says her friend is still alive – in another universe.

Elizabeth Briggs gets complete and full credit for the updated one!

 

9 Comments

  1. AngelaKulig says:

    Hmm, I wish you could ultize some punctuation to end thoughts but I know you are out of room. I am SUPER intriqued but I feel like I am getting lost. I need to come back and reread when I have had more sleep.

    MOSTLY I want to ask questions about your book… but I guess that is the point right? Cheers for putting so many thoughts into so few words!

  2. dms052564 says:

    Thanks, Angela. Yes, punctuation had to be sacrificed. I NEED MORE CHARACTERS! LOL

  3. I love your concept (alternate universes ftw!) but the 2nd half of your pitch is kinda confusing. I don’t understand who is running for her life – Julia or alt-Julia? And why are they running?

    I think maybe you could simplify it and focus on the big concept, which is that her friend is alive in another universe.

    I went to your longer blurb and took words from it to come up with:

    “Julia lives with the guilt of killing her best friend, until she falls for a boy who says her friend is still alive – in another universe.”

    Anyway, that’s just my idea, if it doesn’t work for you, feel free to ignore it!

  4. I think you start strong with guilt ridden because it makes me wonder why, but I get a little lost in the in the last half. I also question the stakes of “who says her friend’s alive”

    This is an extremely hard thing to do, but like you said, once done you have a great way to refer to your story. Good Luck!!!

  5. I agree, things get a little muddled there. How about something like:

    “Julia will do anything to make Evan’s assertions that Monica (who died 6 months ago) is alive a reality, including visiting an alternate world”

    But that’s two characters too long…

    “Julia will do anything to make Evan’s assertions that recently dead Monica is alive a reality, including visiting an alternate world”

    That one leaves eight characters free…

    Gah, this is SO HARD!

  6. Ooooh, I like Elizabeth’s suggestion!

  7. dms052564 says:

    Cassandra, I’m liking Elizabeth’s too, which is actually more in line with where my query is heading.

  8. yes, the second version is very strong. i like how it starts out as a normal everyday life story and then bam…you add in the sci-fi twist. good job to you and the people who commented before me on a great pitch!
    douglas esper

  9. J E Fritz says:

    Julia lives with the guilt of killing her best friend, until she falls for a boy who says her friend is still alive – in another universe.

    I definitely like the second one better than the first. It’s engaging and intriguing. I do think you should change “falls for a boy who says” to something else, because falling for him doesn’t have anything to do with his revelation. Maybe just “her new boyfriend”? And to add the stakes, maybe you should say the friend is trapped in the other universe–or whatever it was that got her there. Anyway, this sounds like a fun story!

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